What are you most proud of?

December 8, 2015

Today’s prompt from the Live Your Legend blog challenge is to write about an achievement I’m proud of. Similar to the last challenge this question makes me uncomfortable. Have I done anything to be proud of?

Maybe I should focus on a work achievement but the things I am most proud of is the family unit I have helped create (with a lot of help from others).

My partner and I had a son last year after a long time of trying. Of course it’s not IMG_0438unusual for parents to be proud of their kids. However, I am particularly proud as we are a same sex female couple who had numerous obstacles to overcome on the way. First, I had to overcome the homophobia I had internalised over the years and convince myself that having a child wasn’t a selfish and cruel thing to do. Second, I had to wait for my partner to feel ready (well as ready as she was ever going to be) to have a family. Then there were legal, fertility, family and health hurdles to overcome. But 5 years later we got there in the end and our son is a healthy, sociable toddler who definitely knows his own mind and has the most amazing laugh (biased as I may be!).

Overall I feared failure at this goal more than anything else in my life so far. But I am proud that I focused on my hope of achieving the end goal and kept trying in the face of set-backs and failures – even though there were a lot of tears and days of doubt along the way. Reflecting back, I realise that the challenges we faced meant that my partner and I ended up discussing what was important to us about parenthood a lot during the journey and had clear values and red lines identified which helped us make decisions (and still does).

IMG_0017I see a lot of parallels between starting a family and leaving work to start a business. There is never the perfect time to do either and it requires a big leap of faith. For me to start a family, I needed to change my mindset on what was possible; gain support from my partner, family and friends; and then keep experimenting and pivoting with the end goal in mind. I also needed patience and resilience. Finally I had to learn to be vulnerable and seek help from others (thank you in particular to the amazing people at GCRM and to our kind donor)

I have started this journey again with a different goal. At least this time I have a prior success to cuddle every time I have doubts.

How about you? What keeps you going towards your goals in challenging times? Or what is the biggest thing you are feared of failing at?

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