Today’s prompt from the Live Your Legend blog challenge is to write about an achievement I’m proud of. Similar to the last challenge this question makes me uncomfortable. Have I done anything to be proud of?
Maybe I should focus on a work achievement but the things I am most proud of is the family unit I have helped create (with a lot of help from others).
My partner and I had a son last year after a long time of trying. Of course it’s not unusual for parents to be proud of their kids. However, I am particularly proud as we are a same sex female couple who had numerous obstacles to overcome on the way. First, I had to overcome the homophobia I had internalised over the years and convince myself that having a child wasn’t a selfish and cruel thing to do. Second, I had to wait for my partner to feel ready (well as ready as she was ever going to be) to have a family. Then there were legal, fertility, family and health hurdles to overcome. But 5 years later we got there in the end and our son is a healthy, sociable toddler who definitely knows his own mind and has the most amazing laugh (biased as I may be!).
Overall I feared failure at this goal more than anything else in my life so far. But I am proud that I focused on my hope of achieving the end goal and kept trying in the face of set-backs and failures – even though there were a lot of tears and days of doubt along the way. Reflecting back, I realise that the challenges we faced meant that my partner and I ended up discussing what was important to us about parenthood a lot during the journey and had clear values and red lines identified which helped us make decisions (and still does).
I see a lot of parallels between starting a family and leaving work to start a business. There is never the perfect time to do either and it requires a big leap of faith. For me to start a family, I needed to change my mindset on what was possible; gain support from my partner, family and friends; and then keep experimenting and pivoting with the end goal in mind. I also needed patience and resilience. Finally I had to learn to be vulnerable and seek help from others (thank you in particular to the amazing people at GCRM and to our kind donor)
I have started this journey again with a different goal. At least this time I have a prior success to cuddle every time I have doubts.
How about you? What keeps you going towards your goals in challenging times? Or what is the biggest thing you are feared of failing at?